Taboo

We all know the game Taboo, right? You have teams or partners and try to get them to guess what your word is, without actually saying the word, or a list of similar words. And if you say something you're not supposed to say... You hear a loud BUZZ!!!!!

Same goes for talking about taboo topics. You are quick to get "buzzed," if you say the wrong thing. But you know what? These buzzing words NEED to be talked about sometimes, and talked about without someone buzzing you.

Two most buzzed topics? Religion and politics. Why do they get buzzed and cause controversy? Everyone either thinks they're right, or they are uncomfortable talking about it.

I held my tongue for a while now about the Newtown shooting. That event tore me to pieces, and not just for the kids and their families, but for the shooter, his mother, and their families. And for us, too.

I'm normally one who sits and wonders why? Why did it happen? Why little kids? Why did his mom have those weapons? Why didn't her son, who was SICK, not get help? And of course, I asked those questions to myself and realized there is no point in the wonder. We won't ever know those answers.

But what was the thing that tore me to pieces this time? The "how?" How do we stop this from happening again? How do we help these families who lost theirs? How do we help those who are sick? And I honestly think that the "how?" questions are even harder to live with than the "why?"

Why? Because we tend to ask WHY, after it's happened. We can't change what happened. But HOW? How can we change it?

What a challenging question.

Everyone has their finger pointed away from themselves and at everyone else. Guns are the issue. Sure, if we didn't have guns, this wouldn't happen. That would be nice and a dream come true in my eyes, but is it possible? Ehh... Mental health is the issue. Sure, these "monsters," as people call them, need to be locked up. No. These PEOPLE need help. How do they get it?

I read a lot of articles when the shooting happened and the line that stuck with me to the core was, "If only health care was as easy to get, as say... A gun."

Another finger pointed was at schools for taking God out of them. Okay, when I first saw this I was like "YEAH! That's totally right!" But you know what? The schools don't have to teach the students about God. But YOU can teach your children about God. Kind of goes along the lines of cursive. Did you know they don't teach kids cursive anymore? Wtf?!? I was talking to my aunt about this a few months ago and she said she had to teach my cousin how to write in cursive AT HOME!! Yeah, I know God and cursive are totally different, but if your kids don't learn at school, what you think is important, teach them yourself.

Another finger pointed was at "our generation." All we do is sit on our computers, watch violent movies and tv, play violent video games, and sit behind the computer and chat with total strangers, who don't know us, so we can pretend to be someone else.

Yes, our generation has obsessions with technology, and while there are SOME people who do all of the above, not everyone does. So you can't blame a whole generation or group of people on a handful of mentally ill kids, who didn't/couldn't get help and shot people. That would be like blaming the whole country of Saudi Arabia for the 911 attacks. Yes, a majority of them were from the country, and no, not everyone from Saudi Arabia is going to hijack a plane. Just like not every kid who plays video games or watches violent movies, is going to shoot people.

I have issues with all of these areas being blamed. It's not one of them, it's not none of them, it's ALL of them. So, HOW do we tackle the situation?

Let's start with guns. I don't see any way we can get rid of them all, SO, if you're going to have them? Keep them locked up and DO NOT tell your children where they are. Do NOT even bring them in front of your child. If you have them for hunting, keep them locked away ALL the time. I mean why would your hunting guns need to be out at home? Shooting from your front porch? Yeah right.

If you have guns because you want them for self defense, lock them up and don't let your kids know they are. You're probably more likely to get shot at if you show whoever is approaching you, that you have a gun anyway.

Giving teachers guns at school? Stupid. Not even going to go there.

Mental health. BIG stuff. TABOO stuff. Buzz buzz buzz. Why? I understand this is a sensitive subject and you know what? So is/are anyone else's health condition(s). Cancer? No one wants to get it, but the second they find out they have it? They go to the doctor and get the help they can. Diabetes? No one wants to get it, but they go to the doctor and get the insulin and find out how to manage your nutrition, and so on. High blood pressure? Go to the doctor and get on meds and lean about how to lower it. A cold? No one goes to the doctor for a cold because colds go away and mental health doesn't, but that's how we treat it.

Just leave it be and it will go away.

They will snap out of it. They just hit a few speed bumps is all.

Nope. Not going to work. Take them to the doctor! Don't avoid it because you're uncomfortable or are worried what people think, deal with it! You AND your child may be a whole hell of a lot happier if they get the right help. And going to a mental health doctor doesn't mean you're crazy, it means you want to get better. It makes you SMART, not crazy.

I think the blaming of violent movies/games/etc., is a major cop out. If you think it's the reason people are becoming "monsters," don't buy your kids video games! Don't let them fade away and sit behind video games or violent movies and let that become their reality.

God isn't in schools? LIE. God is in schools, just like God is in your house, or the car, or in YOU. If you have God IN you, he goes WITH YOU wherever you go. God and religion may not be taught in schools, but you can teach them at home. I went to Catholic school, so I was taught about God at school AND at home.

I know I did a lot of hopping around from topic to topic, but seriously, we are not going to get anywhere by pointing fingers at everyone and everything. And we aren't going to agree with each other. And one thing isn't going to fix everything. But you can start with yourself and start with your family. Talk about stuff. Get involved. Set limits.

Limits suck at any age. But I am thankful that my family had limits. Thankful that my parents made us play outside and go to camps and ride bikes. I am thankful my parents didn't let us have video games and that they taught us about God at home, even though we were learning at school. I am thankful that my parents made us talk about things we didn't want to talk about.

I may not have been thankful for these things as a middle schooler or teenager, but it's because I didn't understand it. But because they set limits, I respect them. I still tell them when I need help or when things go wrong. I tell them what I am learning at my counseling appointments. Yes, I go to a counselor. No, I'm not crazy. I'm taking care of myself and you should, too.