Monday, June 25, 2012

Bad Kar-Ma

Last week as some of you read, I got my car towed and a parking ticket... for a whopping $175. Oh, and they didn't double charge us, thank God.

$175 in fees really threw a curveball in my trip to New York I was planning.

And as if that wasn't bad enough?

Saturday one of my girl friends from college had her beautiful baby girl and I so happened to be in the area. Overly excited, I pull into the parking garage and take a tight turn... but not quite tight enough.

The sound shocked me, but not as much as the IDIOT park job I failed at. Not knowing what to do, as I have NEVER hit a parked car before, I pulled out and parked in an area where there were NO CARS. Again, I'd never done this before so I dig around trying to find something to write my information down on. Coincidentally, I pull out an old Babies 'R US reciept. I rip off half of it to write down my information. As I go to check out the damage, I glance at the car a second and third and fourth time and realize of all the cars in the parking garage at the hospital... I know this car.

Yeah, you guessed it. I hit MY FRIEND'S CAR!!! Yes, the one who just had the baby 6 hours ago... that one.

I thought okay how am I going to approach this? It went a little something like this...

"Hey Tanner! Congrats!! How is everyone?"

"Thanks, they're good. Thanks for coming."

"Hey, quick question..... is Janae's license plate ________? I think I just hit your car."


Well, yes, I did. Thankfully a LOT of it washed off, but there is still a scratch. And as for my car... well there is a little bit of damage...

And today? The bus? Took me almost 2 hours to get to work because of a flipped flaming car on I-5.

Until next time,

Dying.to.work.from.home

Friday, June 22, 2012

OMG I hope she doesn't have a gun!

I went to Target tonight to buy a new book because I just finished the raunchy 50 Shades of Grey trilogy and have been bored out of my mind on the bus. I started packing my headphones to at least listen to music to help pass the time. Well, yesterday I had my music turned up pretty loud because I had it on my favorite playlist, so I was zoned out but apparently I didn't have my music turned up loud enough to miss what happened next...

I was sitting in a side-facing seat on the bus with my back to the bus stops when I hear LOUD and clear a woman yelling "GET YOUR ASS BACK OVER HERE!!!!" It turns out there was a woman who was just a few seconds too late to get on the bus. I was shocked when the bus driver stopped and opened up the door... NO one stops to let ANYONE on even a second after the drive off, so why would they when it's a woman yelling at you? Well, let's just say the driver pulled a fast one on her like in this scene right here..... But she pulled this stunt TWICE on the woman....



I have been DYING trying to think of what movie this scene happened in... so when I finally found it, it was even funnier than I remembered. But this was a much more pleasant scene than the one on the bus yesterday. It was more of a scene from one of the Madea's Family Reunion movies, where these two women were full of SASS and ATTITUDE! The woman starts making her way to the back of the bus because at this point it was standing room only. A young man got up to give the woman her seat, but not before she smacked everyone down the aisle with her big butt and oversized bags.

Everyone was snickering because the bus driver pulled a fast one on the woman and then purposefully drove horribly the whole way home in spite of the woman. Again, I was sitting on one of the side facing seats, so when the driver decided she'd rattle everyone and slam on the brakes, I went flying into the lap of the woman next to me. Since I had my headphones on I didn't realize how loud I was talking. I very loudly said "Oh SHIT I'm so sorry... I think she's driving like this on purpose to piss that lady off." And everyone sitting around me was laughing in agreement.

The bus driver did this a few more times and I got a serious case of the giggles. My mom had called me during the madness and I wished so badly I could tell her what was happening but I didn't want to get my ass kicked. So I text her 3 very long text messages explaining the hilarious situation and what she text back to me made me laugh out loud AGAIN, loud enough to hear how obnoxious I was OVER my loud music.

She simply wrote back, "OMG I hope she doens't have a gun!!"

And I wrote back, "Trust me, if she had a gun, she would've used it by now."

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Sleep studies and Traffic and Tow trucks... Oh My!

I have been looking forward to this day for almost two months now. I FINALLY had my sleep study consult! I knew I wouldn't get any answers at the consultation, but was excited to be one step closer to (hopefully) finding out what is wrong with me! My appointment was at 8:30, which means I got to sleep in until 7 AM!!! Funny, sleeping in before your sleep study appointment. Well, I was up at 6:30 but I forced myself back to sleep for as long as I could.

I got to my appointment and filled out the bizarre and not so bizarre questions for the nurse before the sleep specialist came in. Some of these questions were like:

On a scale from 0-Never to 5-Very Likely, please rate how you feel in these scenarios:

1. Fall asleep while sitting in the passenger seat of the car for over an hour
2. Watching tv
3. Driving a car
4. Having a conversation

You get the point...

Oh... and they also measured my neck... apparently that's part of the tests for sleep apnea.

Well, the doctor came in and he's German, VERY German. I had a hard time understanding him throughout the appointment. He kept saying "uh huh, yes, ok." But I wasn't even saying anything to him, but that's how he would respond after each comment he made. He said he would send my referral to Seattle for the sleep study, then proceeded to tell me he wants me to do TWO sleep studies and that I will be there for 20 HOURS STRAIGHT. He said I have a lot of symptoms of narcolepsy, which, ever since I saw the movie Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo, I've known it was a sleep disorder where people just fall asleep out of nowhere. He said that is the main symptom of narcolepsy that I am missing. He also mentioned checking for epilepsy. Now, because of his STRONG GERMAN accent, I needed some clarification and said "Excuse me, did you say epilepsy? (Insert panic mode here)" He said "uh huh, yes, ok." And I said "Okay... and did you say narcolepsy?" He said "uh huh, yes, ok."


I made my appointments to get my studies done in Seattle on July 10th-11th. I have to check in at 7:30 PM on the 10th and get all hooked up to the machines. They glue electrodes to my head/hair, face, chin, legs, and I am to wear a belt around my waist and chest. They also said they may hook me up to the sleep apnea mask at some point in the night. While they are describing all of these devices I am wondering how the HELL am I going to sleep at all? They said they will wake me up between 5AM-7AM and unhook the belts, but keep the electrodes on for the following day. I am supposed to be there until 5 PM. He said they will have me nap every 2 hours, for 20 minutes at a time. I initially thought, how am I supposed to nap all day long? But then I thought... there is NO way I'll get any sleep the night of the study because I will be hooked up to everything, so I'm sure I will appreciate the napping. They said to wear cozy clothes for the day study because I will be sitting there all day long by myself. They have a dvd player and wifi, so it sounds like I will be having a very lazy sleep study day.

A lazy sleep study day sounds quite nice after my afternoon experience today. I kept reminding myself all day DON'T FORGET YOU DROVE TODAY. I could just see myself getting on the bus to go home and getting to the parking garage just to not find my car. Well, today I walked to the street where I parked and there was no car. I walked up and down the street a few times before I called my mom.

Hey mom...

How's it going honey?

Not so good, my car isn't here.

Um like it got stolen? Or towed?

I'm not sure... I paid for parking in a 10 hour spot, I should've been fine...

Well, turns out the spot I parked in is fine UNTIL 3PM-7PM... oh you mean I missed the sign that was placed up the street a block from the 10 Hour parking sign and payment stand? After figuring out where my car was oh so NOT conveniently towed, I ask for the address. The man at the towing company told me it was about half a mile from my work.... Oh and by half a mile you mean 2 and a half? Right...

After arguing with my mom on who will pay the impound fee, I finally won and told her it was my own fault and that I was paying for it. I walk to the bus stop, hop on, get off and walk around for about half an hour trying to find the, again, NOT convenient location of the towing company. I finally get there, pay the $125 fee, get my $47 ticket and I'm on my way. I leave just in time to be stuck in the 6 o'clock traffic starting up at UW and finally ending back home 2 and a half hours after I got off work.

I'm surprised at how calm I stayed THE WHOLE TIME... I almost cried for a split second... but really I was just ROYALLY pissed off and in a rotton mood. I get home and text my mom saying I'm going for a run to blow off some steam, since I missed my hot yoga class. My sister text me to say sorry about the car situation and that my mom paid for the impound fee, so hopefully I didn't get charged, too.

Well, guess what? They charged me. Never mentioned my mom giving them her information to pay for it. They will be getting a phone call tomorrow morning from my sweet sweet mom who still tried to go and pay for my fee without me knowing... who hopefully wont be so sweet if indeed they double charged us.

Have never been more excited to take the bus to work tomorrow morning.



Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Instant Gratification

I have seen this picture floating around pinterest lately and it struck a chord with me. It's a picture of an elderly couple with this quote on it "When asked how they managed to stay together for 65 years, the woman replied "We were born in a time where if something broke, you fixed it.... you didn't throw it away." I got to thinking about our generation again and have been wondering what happened to make it okay to just give up. And it's not just the gen-y-ers, but also the gen-x-ers and the baby boomers.

Most of my friends' parents are still married. In high school when my parents split up, I only had ONE close friend who's parents had been divorced. That was, and still is a rarity. Even out of my college friends, almost all of their parents are still together. However, statistics show otherwise. If you think of our grandparents' generation, they married young and stayed together forever. Sure, we're living longer, but we're also getting married later (if at all), but the divorce rates are still uncomfortably high.

The best advice I have been given about marriage is that if you are married for 40 years, you might have 10 bad years.... it may not be consecutive, but that means you have 30 good years. So many people say they were just "unhappy," in their marriage or relationship and that's why they called it quits. But I can guarantee you that you have been "unhappy," in your life before you were ever married...did you just quit yourself then, too?

We are so obsessed with having instant gratification. In the winter we get pale...which, is normal... but we want to look better and be as tan as we are in the summer... not normal. I used to go tanning, but haven't for about 4 years. It took the combination of seeing my mom's skin cancer spots after they had been treated and realizing I would rather be pale now and have beautiful skin later. We're all scared of aging and looking old... so people get botox to make them look younger and be wrinkle free. Well, turns out, there are studies that are linking botox to BRAIN TUMORS. Is that going to stop people? Probably not, because even though going in a tanning booth CAN GIVE YOU CANCER, people still do it. Just like smoking cigarettes CAN GIVE YOU CANCER, people still smoke them. Texting while driving? CAN KILL YOU or SOMEONE ELSE, but we want to send that dumb text message so badly that we can't wait until we're out of the car?

It's like we have all forgotten our lessons on patience. Good things come to those who wait. We need not to rush things, for good things take TIME. Everyone asks why I'm single and it takes every ounce of me to not ask them why are they being annoying? It's not like I know why... well I do. I'm picky. And I'm picky because if I am going to spend the REST of my life with someone... they're gonna have to be something spectacular.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Game of Life

What.A.Week. Lost a friend, gained a niece, reconnected with old friends.

Good news first....I received a phone call from my sister at 2:45 AM on Friday morning, just under 3 hours after her official due date. I was a bit dazed and confused, but quickly drove down to Olympia at 3 in the morning to take over on Gracie duty. Little miss Lyla arrived around 11:30 and she is absolutely PERFECT. Lyla is pretty much a clone of her big sister, but already have completely different temperments. I couldn't be more proud to be an auntie...twice!!

In the last week, I have reconnected with many people I have lost touch with over the years. One week ago today, I got a text message from a friend asking me if I heard our friend Johnie passed away. I immediately responded saying "what." As if she told me and I misheard her, instead, I read her text and misheard her. I was immediately filled with anxiety and confusion. There is no way this can be true. It has to be a mistake. I get on the internet and am reading article after article, all saying the same thing. No one knows what happened. Every article mentioned how Johnie scored the game winning touchdown in his game Saturday night, but found dead on Monday night. If this weren't the Johnie I knew, I would have immediately jumped to conclusions and made all of these accusations of how the whole situation unfolded. But not our Johnie. He was the goofiest, most loving gentle giant.

I'll never forget the first time I met Johnie. One of my best guy friends in high school was heading to UW to play football and he was matched up with his roommate, another football player, who played the same position as my friend Luke. Now, Luke was our "big man on campus," all 6 foot (...maybe...) of him. So when I hear Luke was paired with a player who played the same position, I expected someone somewhat similar. In walks Johnie, who has a good 4 inches on Luke, and a good 50-60 pounds on him. Being so small, Luke was always big to me... so Johnie was like a GIANT to me. But I quickly learned that Johnie was just a big ole teddy bear. Over the 4 years of college, Johnie lived with my high school friends off and on and I got to know him much better than I had expected. During the off-season, the boys would come out to visit at Central and stay the weekend. I do love my guy friends, but boy did they know how to drive me CRAZY.

The day I found out about Johnie, I kept trying to picture his big goofy smile and his replay his giggle over and over again. Nothing could break my sad mood, until I thought of a story I had forgotten about until last Tuesday. After a long weekend of binge drinking (At Central of course), we decided to drive to Yakima to go to the mall. Since I was the only one who woke up sober, I decided I would drive. And since Johnie was by far the biggest, he sat in the front. Tired of being elbowed and talked over and hearing the most inappropriate things, I think Johnie could pick up the fact that I was quickly getting annoyed of my favorite guys. He then starts going through my glove comparments and put on random pieces of jewelry and sunglasses. I gave him a half smile for his effort to make me laugh. Down the windy eastern Washington roads I go, and see out of the corner of my eye, Johnie flying something out of my sunroof. I glance over to see that he had found a box of tampons and opened them up and was flying them out the sunroof like kites. The boys were crying from laughing so hard, while I finally gave in and started laughing uncontrollably.

Johnie was a goof, a fantastic football player, a loving dad of a beautiful daughter, a great friend, and real genuine guy. Anyone that knew him will forever remember him for his shining smile and positive spirit. Johnie is now undoubtedly a shining guardian angel to the parents, sisters, daughter, and friends he left behind.

It shouldn't take these kinds of tragedies to remind us of the important things and people in our lives. If you love someone, tell them. If you want to make a change, make a change. If you're unhappy, BE HAPPY.

Life is too short. Play your cards right.