Last night I decided to look through some old pictures just for fun. I do this every few months and I find something new each time. Although technology has changed and taken over, I still like to get my pictures PRINTED. Not just sitting on some invisible "drive," on my computer... Or floating around in space. And the same goes for books. I like to physically hold the book and turn the pages. Not just swipe my finger.
Anyway, I decided to look through more pictures tonight. I found my autobiography, which was written my senior year in high school. It is full of (now) hysterical and embarrassing pictures. And it wouldn't be complete without a timeline, life story, and prediction of the future.
Well, lets just say I'm not where I thought I'd be, but I'm exactly where I should be.
I was shocked when I read my prediction, not just because I'm not married, don't have kids, or make all the money in the world, but because I read word for word what I wanted to write my post about.
It reads "The best things in life depend on timing and personality." So, part of this post I've been waiting to write is about how I don't believe in "everything happens for a reason." BUT I believe that the timing of everything happens for a reason. To some of you, you probably think that sounds the same. When people tell you everything happens for a reason it's a way of comforting you and trying to make sense of what has happened.
Working and being surrounded by cancer patients is a huge wake up call. I mean, can you imagine telling them that everything happens for a reason? "It's making you so much stronger," people say. Yes, it does make you stronger, but it also makes you weaker. For those who are lucky enough to survive, they might think you're right. But the ones who don't make it? For their families? I wouldn't dare tell someone their family member lost the battle for a "reason." Yes, I believe in God and I believe He has a plan for everyone. But what He can't control is our health. He is there to guide us and give us faith, but He cannot change physical things about ourselves and the world we live in. That would be pretty awesome if He could, but what lessons would we learn if we were given everything we wanted?
I believe in the timing of everything. Let's take a sequence of bad events. For example.... About 4 years ago my grandma passed away. A month or two later, my uncle was diagnosed with cancer and the diagnosis didn't look good. A few months after that, my grandpa passed away. A few months after that, my uncle with cancer passed away. The week of his service, another uncle wasn't feeling well. He had cancer 10 years before that. He fought like hell that round and made it out on top. But he knew something wasn't right. Cancer was back. How could that be? A year later he passed away. The month he passed away, his daughter was diagnosed with cancer.
So, writing this down in words seems a little insane. And yes, it was insane. BUT the sequence of events makes sense. Not the events itself. Grandma and grandpa passed away first, which saved them the pain of losing their children. The first uncle decided to fight the "C" word so he could buy some time with his loved ones. He chose quantity. The next uncle decided against the treatment because he had already gone through it before, then watched his brother suffer through it. He chose quality over quantity. And lastly, my cousin who was diagnosed when her dad passed away. My gosh. I can't even imagine that happening. I still can't. BUT... She fought it and kicked its ass. She made it out on top.
10 years ago I wrote "The best things in life depend on timing and personality." Today? I would say it again, but add the best AND worst things.
The second part of what I wrote said "What is a horrible day for one, might be the best day for another." This doesn't make your worst days unimportant, it's just something to acknowledge.
I saw a quote this week that I wish could be posted on each of our foreheads.
"The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for."
Do the best you can and do it with all you've got. So that when these shitstorm life events happen, we can safely say we did all we could.
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