Animal House

No, not THAT animal house. I'm talking about my childhood house, which my sister now lives in, which I will be calling The Animal House from now on.

Like every little kid, I so desperately wanted a puppy and begged for one every day, if not every waking minute of my childhood. The answer was always "No, we're too busy for a dog," which was true. But as a kid I thought that was the lamest excuse I'd ever heard. That burning desire to get a puppy still haunts me... All the time! But, like my parents had said, I'm just too busy for a puppy... Still!

I would BEG to go to the pet store at the mall. My parents took me there quite a bit. (I don't know why because I would cry every time we had to leave). And every time I would still ask for a pet. How about a puppy? No, Leslie. Okay, fine. No puppy. How about a bunny? No, Leslie. A kitten? No, Leslie we already have 2 cats. A turtle? Okay, you can get a turtle.

WHAT!!!!! A turtle?! THIS is the one they should have said no to! We quickly found out how stinky and gross they are. And their food looks a lot like their poop, so I never knew when I should clean the tank. Let's just say we didn't keep "Bubbles," for long.

We had two cats growing up. Mocha, who was the fattest and grouchiest cat on the planet, who would torture me and wait at the bottom of the stairs to swat my ankles. I would cry at the top of the stairs and call for someone to come get her. I was definitely way too old to be crying about it and I still get made fun of for it today. But I did love my Mocha girl, no matter how mean she was. Truffle was our other cat. She was the tiniest little runt and was the kitten everyone wished for. She never really grew into a full size cat. She also wasn't completely there in the head, but was so darn sweet!

I also had a fish, whose name I don't remember. But he was a blue beta fish. He also didn't last long.... Another animal story where I was too old to be crying about. One day when I went to empty out the dirty water... He fell out into the sink. And went down the disposal. No, it wasn't on, but we all know where this is heading. I immediately started to panic and told my mom and dad to get it out. Neither of their hands could fit down the sink and since I still to this day have arms of a 10 year old, they told me I had to do it. But I couldn't think of reaching down and touching the fish so I started to cry and said I couldn't do it. I don't think anyone cared about the fish, but NO ONE wanted to be the first one to turn on the disposal. (I think I was gone for that... On purpose).

Now for the animals who WEREN'T our pets...

We lived on a lake and one day I was playing in the street (do kids even do that anymore?) and a Canadian goose started walking up to me. The goose didn't look like it was doing that well and was getting way too close to me. I started to walk away from it and it was following me.... Quickly. I had a plastic hockey stick, so I knew I had a backup plan if it tried to attack me. I started walking faster and so did the goose. I started running and so did the goose. Now, I'm fully sprinting home and swinging a hockey stick behind me at the goose. I ran inside and the goose sat at our door pecking. The goose was really sick and was slobbering and snotting all over our glass door. We got it some bread and when he would eat, he would also poop all over our front porch. This was turning into a sad nightmare. We called my parents and they called the humane society or another animal control place to come pick it up.

Flash forward a few years and my mom and I found a tiny white bird in the yard with a broken wing. Since we know nothing about birds, we didn't know if it was a chicken or a dove or something else (I realize chickens and doves don't look alike. And how weird it would be to have either of those appear in our backyard). But it was a very tiny white bird. We put it in a box and we called someone to come rescue the wild animal. Again.

Flash forward to last Saturday and we have another incident on our hands. My sister, brother-in-law and I were sitting around before heading to a wedding when we heard loud chirping noises, followed by tons of branches and dirt falling out of a very large tree. I saw a nest fall out of the tree and immediately assumed it was for baby birds. Me and Calvin went outside to see what was happening. We were cursing the squirrels who we thought knocked the baby birds, but when we got closer we didn't see any birds. The nest was for baby squirrels. We found one in the bark and I found one who had fallen onto the brick fire pit. My eyes filled with tears so fast when I saw this poor little baby who had fallen probably 20 feet out of the tree on to the brick. But it was still breathing!!! I started whining and saying to come save this one. Calvin scooped up one baby with the nest and said no because the other one was dead. "But its still breathing Calvin, look!! (in the saddest whining/crying voice ever)." So he picked it up an put it in the nest, just in time to see another poor baby squirrel fall out of the tree. (insert more tears here)

At this point we have 3 baby squirrels put in their broken nest in hopes of the mama coming to rescue them. We went inside to give the mom some privacy... AKA us watching like hawks to see what happened. And we watched as the mom frantically climbed down the tree, squeaking at the babies and them speaking back. The mama squirrel's tail was whipping so fast, you could sense her fear and urgency. She came down and picked one up in her mouth and flipped it around to check her baby out, then ran off with her. At this point my sister and I were both crying at how sweet it was to watch her rescue her babies. And started wondering why she saved that baby first and would she come back for the others? Or would other squirrels from the squirrel community come save them for her? (I know, we've seen too many Disney movies).

But we didn't see her come back for a few minutes and my sister and I began to worry that she only grabbed the one who wasn't touched. So we decide to try and lure her back in by putting food in the nest. We watched a few greedy squirrels steal the food and bypass the babies (apparently they aren't a squirrel community like we had hoped).

We started to get ready for the wedding and agreed that if the babies were still out there, we would bring them somewhere on our way to the wedding to be checked out. And I went out to look and she came back for all 3 of the babies!

I know this story has nothing to do with riding the bus, except for the fact that I'm writing this on the bus :)

It was just too sweet of a story not to share! And a much happier post than my rant on Friday.

Friday feels a lot like Monday

Let me just start by saying this...

I
hate
everything
about
Seattle
today.

I hate the traffic, I hate the construction, I hate the drivers. Why am I so hateful today? It's 4:47 on Friday... I got on the bus at 4:17. Guess where I am now? About 1 mile from the bus stop outside my work. 30 minutes to travel 1 mile? Awesome.

The bus driver just announced the busses are running about 20 minutes late today... Uhh no shit... I just waited 20 minutes for you. She also just said the freeway is a mess and you should take the train. Oh wait.. I missed it already. Should I take the one 30 minutes later? Let's hope I can make it. I also just arrived to my usual stop to see 3 fire trucks parked out front.... For construction! And starting next week, my bus is changing it's route to run down Eastlake... Which is already a headache without all of the re-routes. How long will it be re-routed you ask? 6 MONTHS!!!

Oh yeah, it's 5 now and I've gone 3 blocks. Still sitting in downtown freakkkkkkking Seattle!

To top it off? I forgot my phone at home today... Brought my iPad but the bus doesn't have wifi, so I played solitaire all morning. And now I'm typing this in my notes.

It's now 5:15 and I made the train (yay for wifi). Me and about 10 other people got off the bus and SPRINTED to catch the train. We all made it! Things are looking up!

But wait... It's now 5:45 and I'm in Auburn....I left Seattle an hour and a half ago.

And I'm too mad to write anything else....

Except a big f-u Seattle

Follow-Ups

A week ago I drove through the pothole and cracked my tire. Yes, I ripped it. My uncle aka Mr.Car Guy said "Honey that's not possible, you couldn't have cracked your tire, you might have cracked your wheel."

Tires and wheels aren't the same thing? News to me....

He starts asking if I had hubcaps or something else. Again, if something is covering my wheel that means hubcap in my mind. Is it steel or metal? I don't know. Is it front wheel drive or something else? Shit. I don't know! All I know is I have a 2009 black Jetta that unfortunately has scratches along the side and a cracked tire.

To make things easier, my uncle came down to meet me and wait for AAA. I left work at 2 in the afternoon and everyone said "How nice! An afternoon off!" Yeah, we'll 5:15 rolls around and AAA shows up. Thankfully I had my uncle to keep me company and laugh at me for not knowing ANYTHING about my car. I don't even know my license plate for God's sake, I just know the car is mine because of the tattoos I've added from poles and cars.

We decide to get the spare out to speed up the process... And what do ya know! It's a full spare! Wait a minute... What's a full spare? Apparently it's the same exact tire I have on my car. Convenient! But I have yet to buy a spare to replace the thrashed tire in my trunk!

I will be buying one tomorrow. Promise!

Last night I thought of the best birthday present to myself. I'll drive myself to work instead of ride the bus! But at 11:45 last night I remembered I don't have a flipping spare tire... Just in case something happens and this wonderful "full spare," flakes.

My boss has been out of the country for 3 weeks and said to me today, "Did I hear it's your birthday? Do anything special for it?" I told him I went to Canada and he said oh just because? So I told him I ran a half marathon and he, who barely even talks to me or smiles bursts into laughter and said "you're crazy, most people relax on their birthday."

Let me tell you, the weekend in Canada was in no way relaxing.

Lululemon makes fashionable and insanely overpriced yoga clothing, which they should just stick to from now on. They talked a big talk for their first race.

Yes, it was their first race so they didn't exactly know what they were doing. But when you give out shorts instead of race shirts, make sure they don't fit like underwear, aren't white, and you don't run out. Another tip, when you brag about not giving us stale bagels at the end of the race like all of those other races, and excite us with waffles and fruit from 9-1. Don't run out of food by 10:45. You should probably have water stations more than every 3 miles and not run out of cups to drink the water from. Oh yes, the real kicker... Get your course certified. My two friends and I all used different running apps and they all said it was over 13.1 miles.

Let me tell you that being out of shape and running the race anyway sucks. Having your phone cut in your Playlist saying "12 miles," really gets you going. I've been told I'm like a horse when I run, once I see the barn I'm gone. Well, no barn in site when my phone said 13 miles (after hauling ass the last mile). I find one of my friends and we are exchanging swear words about the finish line, since her app said she was past 13.1 miles and NO finish line in sight.

I got so pissed I had to walk part of the last mile and told Caylin to go ahead of me. Then she got pissed and walked, both of us yelling "where the f$!? Is the finish line!!!!" While most races give out bibs to wear, they gave us bracelets to advertise the lululemon gear (that I wasn't wearing). The finish line cameras capture you finishing and you can buy your photos based off your bib #.

The pictures they posted to their website are of girls decked out in frilly lulu gear, smiling ear to ear and jumping for joy. Why wasn't my picture up there? Well I don't think they took any because I looked like I just ran the warrior dash... That went through hell and back.

But ya know what... I finished the race. My distance read 13.99 miles and my time read 2:25 and while that is 13 minutes slower than my last race, I did run an extra .98 miles. I finished My 3rd half marathon, my friend Caylin finished her 2nd half marathon, and my friend Stephanie finished we first half marathon... On her actual birthday!!!! I was one proud, aching, and pissed off friend that day and I wouldn't change a thing!

As for my birthday, I would like to say thanks to everyone who has text, called, facebooked or wished me well in person! I am a lucky girl with the best friends and family I could ever imagine!!

Someone should take away my license... Part II

Seriously how do I get myself in these situations time and time again?

Before I even opened my eyes this morning the first thing that came out of my mouth was "no!" when my alarm clock went off. Why? Because I'm pretty sure I got about 4 hours of sleep last night... Maybe it's my new meds since I upped the dose? Maybe it's because it's 90 degrees in my house? Either way... I'm a grumpy, tired brat this morning. I contemplated calling in sick... Or at least late. But I didn't.

I was running almost 10 minutes late, which in bussing world, could make you 30 Minutes late. so I parked on the street instead of driving up to the top of the parking garage and guess what happened next? I drove through a ginormous pothole and cracked my tire. It's not flat.. But could very well be by the time I get back to Tacoma after work.

I knew I should've stayed home this morning when I woke up. But instead, I took my badass Jetta off-roading.

Since I was already running late, I hopped on the bus hoping to call AAA. But you have to be present to get roadside assistance. And from what I gathered online, you needed your card, too. Of course I can't find my card. I wait till at least 7:30 to call my mom and ask her if we got new cards. While feeling like a complete asshole for not having my card with me, I felt a little bit better once my mom told me she had my new card (the old one expired in June).

Called AAA and it turns out I don't need my card with me. Just need my member number. Which I will be saving into my phone right this second.

Big lessons learned today...

1. Always carry your AAA card on you (duh)

2. Trust your gut and stay home when you can't see straight you're so tired

3. Don't drive your car when you can't see straight because you're so tired

The day can only get better from here. Right?

Rated "P" for profanity

You will have to excuse my language for this post because I don't think any symbols would do me any justice. I need real words.

I'm sure I've mentioned the "Free ride zone," before... Where all the crazies hop on the bus for a few blocks? This is where the majority of these weird bussing stories come from.

One day last week I was waiting to get on the bus when a crackhead cut me in line grumbling about "Those crazy mother fuckers on the corner." And when I say crackhead...I mean it. I'm not just using it to be dramatic. This man's eyes were crossed so closely that you could basically just see the whites(reds) of his eyes.

I always sit in the front of the bus because it's a pain in the butt to wait for everyone to unload off the bus AND so that if something illegal or inappropriate happened, I would be close to the driver. For those of you who don't have public transportation experience you may think I'm exaggerating the "illegal and inappropriate," occurrences but oh yes, they happen.

Back to the crackhead... he apparently had the same seat preference as me, so I ended up sitting across from him. He was talking all sorts of nonsense and while I looked straight ahead,
I couldn't help but notice him doing something out of the corner of my eye. Because he was SO sketchy, I glanced over to make sure he wasn't whipping out drugs or a gun (seems to be an awful trend lately) but he was just struggling to put his backpack on (probably because his eyes were so crossed). I looked back to the road when he shot me a nasty look and said "Oh the little bitch has to check and see what I'm doing. You fucking little bitch."

This is where I wish I wasn't so immature and could keep a straight face. But what did I do? Start chuckling. That awful laugh you get in church as a kid (ok.. Still happens to me) where you know you're supposed to be quiet and NOT make a scene. This of course just pissed him off even more and as he got off the bus he just kept repeating "fucking little bitch."

I told this story to my cousin, who is a bussing newbie... (oops, sorry savvy... The bus really is awesome) and she asked "Holy shit! Was it the scariest thing of your life?" It was surprisingly not that scary. I may be out of shape for my race this weekend, but I'm pretty confident I could outrun the cross-eyed crack head.

Speaking of which, what was I thinking signing up for a half marathon for my birthday? Worst present ever. But I'll have two of my best friends running with me and have my mom there at the finish line! Maybe 26 won't be so bad after all :)